# Drywall jokes/sayings



## croozer

Walked of a job the other day and this hit /occured to me....
Having earned , on paper, $35k for the month, but not having seen a cent of it....
Why do drywallers make the best lovers?
Because it dosnt matter whos screwing us, we always come last!!!



Any other philosophers out there?


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## Crazytaper

I say ,"Drywall isn't a job, it's a lifestyle."


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## Donson

Crazytaper said:


> I say ,"Drywall isn't a job, it's a lifestyle."


I've said that many times myself..........


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## 2buckcanuck

my saying......
if Jesus was a taper instead of a carpenter ,they would of crucified him twice!!!!!


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## wnybassman

I always thought a good name for a drywall business would be "Well Hung Drywall".


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## Donson

drywall tapers do it with long smooth strokes..........


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## carpentaper

i know there is a legitimate problem going on in your country but maybe you should find somewhere else to vent your blatant racism.


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## cazna

It is a drywall jokes thread, not lets take a shot at mexicans thread.


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## carpentaper

Oh my god i'm sooooo fat. how did you know?


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## SlimPickins

Whoa.....so _that's _what it's like having a moderator! Bye-bye nastiness! I could get used to this!

When working for a GC who built very expensive houses badly I coined the expression... 

"You can't frost Sh*t and call it cake."


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## carpentaper

i love how much sense this thread is going to make to anyone who missed it.:thumbup:


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## moore

carpentaper said:


> i love how much sense this thread is going to make to anyone who missed it.:thumbup:


DAMN I missed it..


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## moore

wnybassman said:


> I always thought a good name for a drywall business would be "Well Hung Drywall".


So did a few in this area... [didn't stay in business long] The best one yet
is GIT ER DONE DRYWALL,,, yeah ,, yee haw! I find this guys card on every other job i start on.


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## betterdrywall

It's only Paper and Paste
Looks Great from My house.
Is that 1 inch or 2 inch,,,,caulk? 
Finally,, the floors are level!
Your the 5th trim carpenter to come in and ask me when I will be done.. How many of you guys are bidding on this house? is there more to come before I am done today? 
Thats not a screw,,, thats a fly!


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## alltex

wnybassman said:


> I always thought a good name for a drywall business would be "Well Hung Drywall".


 I knew one in the 80 s!!


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## moore

I like when the hangers tell me the tape is 2 1/2 '' wide.
I tell them,, no it's 2 1/16 '' wide Then they laugh there a** off.


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## Goodmanatee

If you ain't burning you ain't earning.
Have you got a appointment at the hospital tomorrow for an x ray? See if you got any work in you!


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## P.A. ROCKER

It's just a garage.


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## E.K Taper

When looking at a job the sheeters had botched up, my subby said to me "Dont be too particular with the finish on this job, *you can only p*ss with* *the c*ck you've got*"


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## moore

I'm fkn this goat..You just hold his head..


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## 2buckcanuck

moore said:


> I'm fkn this goat..You just hold his head..


I'm not sure if I would want to admit hearing that one


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## kyle112

Looks good from the rear view mirror, same sh*t, different house, good enough for who it's for and don't forget spray it heavy.


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## Bermyboard

"Hurry up and get that 90 up before it goes harder than a Ministers d*ck!"

"That 2x4 is bent worse then my d*ck!"

"Take it easy with that insulation, your throwing it around like a dog with a dirty diaper."

All quotes from one of my late work partners, Robert Anderson. He was the diamond in the dog turd of our local drywall community.


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## Bazooka-Joe

what do you call 10 boarders in a basement,

WINE CELLAR


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## Captain Drywall

awkward, to walk in on a conversation


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## moore

sorry sweet ,,but what is sao?:blink:


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## 2buckcanuck

Drywallers always screw between the sheets:whistling2:

Tapers will always fill your crack


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## VANMAN

moore said:


> sorry sweet ,,but what is sao?:blink:


Moore put it away!!!:jester:


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## Soultear

What do you call a Drywaller who does all his cuts freehand?
"Clueless"

What do you call a taper with mud on his face and in his eyes? 
"A [email protected] Star"

-------------------------------------------------
Truly tasteless drywall humor: 
(Communication first thing in the morning *7 a.m*)
Two Boarders are throwing a 12' x 4' sheet of drywall up on to the ceiling first thing in the morning carrying on from where they left off from the night before.

They are just about done the living room ceiling and sliding the last big sheet into place. The one boarder on the open end pipes up and says, "Hows your Butt?" The other replies "My butts Tight!!!" 

The first guy smiles and says," I know! Just like my finger in your ol' ladies [email protected]@!":yes::whistling2:

----------------------------------------------
Need a green rookie kid off your back for awhile
Ask the rookie to find you the "Board stretcher" cause you cut your last sheet alittle to short.


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## moore

Betty White :lol::lol::lol:


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## Checkers

Here's a joke, Doobie.


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## MacDry

Checkers said:


> Here's a joke, Doobie.


 zing!!!!! :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


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## alltex

wnybassman said:


> I always thought a good name for a drywall business would be "Well Hung Drywall".


Saw a business card in the 80s that said jus that!!


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## cdwoodcox

Not a drywall joke but still funny.
A Guy walks into a bar a robot bartender asks the Guy what are you drinking Guy orders a martini robot asks the guys IQ Guy says 175 bartender talks about rocket science, advance physics etc... intrigued Guy goes back next nite and this time tells robot bartender his IQ is 100 robot talks about football, baseball and cars. Wanting to take it even farther the Guy goes back the third nite and tells the robot his IQ is 50 robot stands there for a minute then leans in and asks. So are you still happy you voted for Obama.


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## boco

I am a taper not a magician.
Lipstick on a pig.
Ninja


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## Soultear

moore said:


> So did a few in this area... [didn't stay in business long] The best one yet
> is GIT ER DONE DRYWALL,,, yeah ,, yee haw! I find this guys card on every other job i start on.


It's not only just for Drywall Companies.


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## craigeo

don't worry bout the gaps, tapers can fix it


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## SlimPickins

Here's a good one:

"Yeah, the job is ready for you" :lol::lol:

I was worried that this might be some private joke between me and myself, but I KNOW there's gotta be someone else out there who's heard this hilarious joke:blink:


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## Capt-sheetrock

SlimPickins said:


> Here's a good one:
> 
> "Yeah, the job is ready for you" :lol::lol:
> 
> I was worried that this might be some private joke between me and myself, but I KNOW there's gotta be someone else out there who's heard this hilarious joke:blink:


 It was,,, they just neglected to tell you it was also ready for the framers,tile guys,hardwood guys,plumbers and electrians also !!!!


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## gazman

Know all about it Slim. The board was ordered for delivery on Friday for our next job (by the G/C) The roof was not even on. I rang and cancelled the delivery.


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## SlimPickins

Capt-sheetrock said:


> It was,,, they just neglected to tell you it was also ready for the framers,tile guys,hardwood guys,plumbers and electrians also !!!!


"What's the problem? There's just a little bit of stuff on your pile of sheetrock that's laying on the floor so the electrician could do his wiring. Oh, and you can't hang that ceiling, the plumber needs to get in there. Oh, and you're going to need to hold all the wall sheets on the ICF walls up 6" so we can put plywood there to nail our base to. Oh, and we'll move all that stuff out from under the stairs when you're ready to hang it. The rock for THAT is outside under the porch. Oh, and remember the lid on the upstairs stairwell that you couldn't hang because we need to fasten our posts for the railing from underneath? It's still not ready........maybe next week sometime"

My response?

"Hey, so you know that schedule we talked about? That's not going to work. You see, I'm going to go work on this other job that IS ready for a while."


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## carpentaper

"Yeah, the job is ready for you" :lol::lol:
HAHAHA!!!! this joke just gets funnier every time i hear it.:furious:


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## JustMe

The one I especially like in my commercial work is "Nothing is really a priority", when I ask the GC's guy running the job, followed a couple/3 days later by "We need this area/these areas done in 2 days, because.......". And it's often not the areas that are furthest along.


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## SlimPickins

JustMe said:


> The one I especially like in my commercial work is "Nothing is really a priority", when I ask the GC's guy running the job, followed a couple/3 days later by "We need this area/these areas done in 2 days, because.......". And it's often not the areas that are furthest along.


Yeah, commercial work is awesome that way...."we'd like you to pull everyone off of this area that's almost done and head over to the other wing. But, you can only work on this wall....oh, and that wall. Just one side though. Oh yeah, and this hard lid over here....the walls in this room won't be ready for two weeks. And then we need you to run back over to the other wing. But we need you to pull the rock off those three walls, we forgot some conduit in there. Forgot to tell you too....in the painted wing, you forgot to spot a screw."


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## Capt-sheetrock

I refuse to torment my soul,,,over things I can't control


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## JustMe

SlimPickins said:


> But we need you to pull the rock off those three walls, we forgot some conduit in there.


That's maybe my 2nd best one. One GC job runner once told me 1st day on a job that it was behind because of my company, to get me to work faster I suppose. I later found out it was because the tin bashers and sparkies had been dragging their feet on their end.


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## SlimPickins

JustMe said:


> That's maybe my 2nd best one. One GC job runner once told me 1st day on a job that it was behind because of my company, to get me to work faster I suppose. I later found out it was because the tin bashers and sparkies had been dragging their feet on their end.


Come on JustMe, you should know by now that you're behind before you even set foot on the job. The Drywaller's secret has been leaked.....we are all given temporal alteration devices upon completion of our long and grueling apprenticeships.


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## moore

The job I'm on the sparky held It up for 2 months . The siding guy will be there till next xmas .The carpenter measures 17 times then cuts once. Guess who has to pay the price? I call this job the chit-chat job everyone stands around all day shooting the chit while I'm running my a$$ off .. The g/c needed the rock up asap [for draw] I had the hangers there 1 hour after the boom arrived .. Talk,talk.talk...IF YOU CAN'T WORK AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME ,,SHUT UP!


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## SlimPickins

moore said:


> The job I'm on the sparky held It up for 2 months . The siding guy will be there till next xmas .The carpenter measures 17 times then cuts once. Guess who has to pay the price? I call this job the chit-chat job everyone stands around all day shooting the chit while I'm running my a$$ off .. The g/c needed the rock up asap [for draw] I had the hangers there 1 hour after the boom arrived .. Talk,talk.talk...IF YOU CAN'T WORK AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME ,,SHUT UP!


I have a guy that likes to call me....and I in turn, don't like to answer his calls.

Example from yesterday:

"So, what's your schedule like in January?"

"I'm pretty busy, why, what's up?"

"Well, I've got *insert umpteen jobs here, with all the details including how long walls are, in-depth explanation of closets, how many dogs the homeowner has, what color socks he's wearing, etc* "

20 minutes later I'm able to respond with "So, maybe you could write down a tentative schedule and I could look at it and see what I can work out.."

"Well, I don't have anything confirmed yet"

After I hang up I find myself yelling at the phone "SO WHY THE **** ARE YOU CALLING ME????"


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## mudman46

wnybassman said:


> I always thought a good name for a drywall business would be "Well Hung Drywall".


there is one called just that
in ch'town P.E.I


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## Bermyboard

*Homeowner attempts drywall patch*

I watched this after work today and had a good laugh, but the amazing thing is the patch worked and held. Just goes to show it doesn't take a rocket scientist :thumbsup:


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## Mudshark

OMG - painfull to watch. Hope the guy doesn't try to make it as a pieceworker. 

Good enough for a rental until the next hole gets punched in it, but where is his mesh tape? :blink:


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## VANMAN

Mudshark said:


> OMG - painfull to watch. Hope the guy doesn't try to make it as a pieceworker.
> 
> Good enough for a rental until the next hole gets punched in it, but where is his mesh tape? :blink:


 Yea that was bad!! Think it was Vodka in that bottle:thumbup:


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## alltex

at least his butt crack didn,t show


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## PrecisionTaping

*Commercial jobs*

ya...reading a few of the comments I can see allot of guys have jokes or stories about commercial jobs.

I remember 2 years back, one the first bigger commercial jobs I was subbed out, me and all my guys arrived at the same time. There was 5 of us in total.

We walked up to our floor which was entirely ours. 
20-25 units or so. All ready to be taped. We got all setup, mixed our mud, got our tools ready. 
Just as we started to tape, the site foreman comes by and yells at one of my guys: 

"Hey! Where's your hard hat!?" 
to which my guy answers: 
"I came in with it on...I didnt think we needed them on when working in the units.."
Site super says : "Hard hats stay on all the time"

Thats when my employee looked at me and said "Im going home."
I just laughed and said "see ya."

Then the site super looks at one of my other guys and says: "also, there's no smoking in the building!"
My guy says: "oh, i'll go outside then."
foreman says: "25 feet from the building."
Employee looks at me : "Im going home too."
I just laughed again "see ya."

Then finally the site foreman (with only 3 of us remaining) walks up to our radio and unplugs it from the wall. 
"No music either" he says.

The 3 of us just looked at each other and without saying a word, we all started to laugh. "see ya" I said to the foreman.
We all just left. haha!

Later that day I got a call from the owner of the company, he said "Have you been to the site today? Your guys all left"

I said "Thats not true....I left too"

Haha. First and last commercial experience.
I dont want it! You guys can keep it. I'll stick to my residential.
Where me and my guys run around in sneakers, no steel toes, no hardhats, with the radio blaring, and my guys can smoke when they want.


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## Dr.Fill Drywall

*Funny sayings*

I named my Company.. Dr. Fill .

I love using this whenever someone misses screw heads. (And new guys ALWAYS miss them).. I say.. "Oh S**t, Looks like Stevie Wonder was in here doing screws"..


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## Dr.Fill Drywall

Commercial work sucks ass


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## kcchiefsfan1982

wnybassman said:


> I always thought a good name for a drywall business would be "Well Hung Drywall".


 
Already got the copyright. Don't even think about it!

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y210/timsatt1/drywall_zps3c3ce88f.jpg


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## CleanTaper

A few of my favorites

"Did you bring your crying towel, cuz it looks like that 10" box is gonna make you cry"

" Are you a Drywaller or a Crywaller?"

" 3 year apprenticeship?..... The instructions are on the box. "

The "Crying Towel" was a favorite of one of my first foreman. He was a slave driver and had no mercy for apprentices.


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## Kiwiman

kcchiefsfan1982 said:


> Already got the copyright. Don't even think about it!
> 
> http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y210/timsatt1/drywall_zps3c3ce88f.jpg


Don't you mean "llawyrD gnuH lleW"


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## moore

Kiwiman said:


> Don't you mean "llawyrD gnuH lleW"


 No ..I think he meant '' teeF ym llawyrD gnuH lleW:whistling2:


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## Gibstopper

we give a 1,2 guarentee.

once we paid, to bad :whistling2:


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## skim-coat

If there isn't any dust on the floor your house isn't getting done.


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## skim-coat

what's that? My wife spitting on the wall.


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## narlordFrom

*I just don't like hearts too elevenyearoldgirl for meisb*

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